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Monday, 24 February 2014

The Role of Pleasure in Weight Loss (yes, you heard correctly)

I may have stumbled on something that could be truly revolutionary for me (and hopefully you!) in terms of weight loss and getting the body you really want. No, strike that - getting the life you really want (the body comes as a pleasant side affect). 
Surely this sounds a bit too good to be true? Well, after doing some reading, I have found a few women (see here and here) who have enjoyed successful weight loss (not to mention all their clients too) through adding pleasure to their lives. No dieting, no weighing, no obsessive exercise, just finding ways to alleviate their daily stress by doing things they truly love and activities which set their hearts alight.

Fantastic! But wait... what does set my heart alight? I'm afraid I've become so focused on food, weight loss, work and all the "should dos" in my life, I've lost sight of what I truly love and the things which give me genuine happiness. I see my friends, yep... go on the occasional holiday when I can get it... check... enjoy spending time with my boyfriend, absolutely! But what do I actually do with my time? Nothing. Nothing is the answer. I get up, go to work, come home (late), eat a standard meal, watch TV and go to bed. Then I'm pretty much so knackered I sleep all weekend, seeing the occasional friend if I'm not so pressed for time or sapped of energy that I don't cancel. THAT's my weekly existence?? No wonder I'm feeling quite uninspired by life. 
But how the hell do we find out what drives us? How do we turn our grey, somewhat dull lives into something truly amazing that makes us excited to get up in the morning (and bypass the fridge?) 
Apparently there's a little trick for that too: ask yourself "why do you want to lose weight"?
Erm, hello? To look bloody brilliant in my bikini this Summer? To FINALLY be able to eat cake and be slim? To feel confident and sexy wearing anything? 
Ah, but apparently it goes deeper than that. Besides the amazing figure, the feeling of accomplishment and that flat stomach, what else is there? 
And herein lies the key to our success. The nugget, the jewel, the holy grail (I hope) of getting the body we deserve and want: emotional eating and excess weight on our bodies are unrealised desires, unreached dreams, un-had happiness, frustrations which are never resolved and unmet needs. When we say we want to be thin, what we actually mean is we want to be happy.  
When I started to explore this new concept, it actually threw up some very interesting things for me. My idea of being slim was actually very little about weight loss or my figure. When I pictured the 'thin me' that I had been chasing for so long, when I looked (and I mean really looked) she was beautiful because she was so.... relaxed. She was happy, smiling, confident and free. She spent time in the garden, and outdoors. She had her own emotional eating/coaching centre and helped women lose weight kindly and for good. The more I looked, and the more I explored I suddenly got very excited. She would have lots of free time for herself, and do things like yoga! She would live in a hot country and not in a city! She would never work in advertising!
Then I got scared. The image of the ideal (read: thin) me was so far removed from how I see myself and my life now that I suddenly freaked out that I was either never going to have that life or I'd have to make such drastic changes that I'd have to quit my job, move countries and who knows what else to do it. How was I going to do all these things? How could I make these things happen? What could I do today to get this life that I never even realised I wanted so badly?
So here I am today. Instead of asking my brain 'how can I get thin?' I am asking myself how I can feel more relaxed about life, how I can start my own business helping people get the life they truly want, how I can spend more time outdoors and do things which I truly love to do. 
I may not have all the answers just yet, but I finally feel like I am at last asking the right questions. 

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