Yesterday was such a beautiful day, I got my
pleasure throughout the day by having a 45 minute lunch break (I nipped out of
the office for a sunbed – naughty I know, but it gave my boost). I enjoyed (and
I mean really really enjoyed) a
Krispy Kreme doughnut for breakfast (!) and bought myself a colourful bunch of
flowers and lit a scented candle when I got home.
I’ve downloaded a load of new music, which is
something I haven’t done in a while and decided to walk the 3 miles home
through my city. I wanted to move my body – I’ve found the things I am getting most
pleasure out of right now are the things which take me out of my mind to relax.
I loved every minute of it, and could feel my inner
self/child/animal/authentic self soaking up all the sounds and sun and fresh
air like I'd been on a complete pleasure diet all this time. I just couldn't get enough.
The light sat
beautifully on the buildings – bouncing off brick, reflective metal and
streaming over warehouse rooftops, and I felt truly lucky and at peace for the first time in a while.
When I first started properly adding pleasure to my routine about three weeks ago, my first thought was how much money I’d have to spend or how
selfish I would become. The idea to do it seemed impossible – how am I going to
add pleasure? I don’t enjoy anything! I don’t find anything pleasurable…
But as the days go on I am actually coming up with more and
more ways to find pleasure – what about art, painting, swimming, more movement…?
And this is just after 21 days – 7 if you count belief and commitment kicking in
as marking the beginning.
I can feel myself changing. Changing to wake up and look
forward to life, changing to want to expand and explore my pleasure… changing
to become inventive and controller of my own life and destiny. I know it sounds
ridiculous, but I’ve actually been just letting life happen to me, for once I
feel powerful and in control of my experiences – and that is very strong.
Oh and the weight I hear you ask? Well, that’s the amazing
thing too… half a stone gone. After nearly 2 years of being the same weight. After 2 years of trying to practice CBT methods to
control negative thoughts as my main coping strategy, and exploring all methods
of losing weight through natural eating and understanding my emotions, I've found the answer is completely the opposite. It's not about changing thought patterns, it's not about years and years of hard work, it's not about punishment. It's about opening ourselves up to pleasure. To loving who we are enough today, just as we are without having to change.
After just a week of beginning to add in pleasure it has worked mentally and physically faster than anything I have ever done. I’m in awe, and want to learn more about the science behind this – because in terms of calories? I’m eating about the same. It’s just… being received and burned in a different way. It’s like my body has turned into a fat burning, pound melting machine, I’m still able to eat what I want, enjoy it more and do things I truly love doing? It’s like a dream. A very good dream.