Pilates

Pilates is all about restoring balance to your body and mind. Perfect really given what pleasurable weight loss is all about - balancing out the stress and crap of life with joy and fulfillment. After a busy work day, the calming zen of the Good Vibes studio was a welcome relief. It's my second week trying to integrate pleasurable things into my routine, and as I lay comfortably on my mat I was really beginning to understand why this place is so popular.  

Then it got bloody challenging! I have realised as well as being overworked and a bit bored, my body or "animal" as Jena calls it is totally unfit. Core? I don't have a core. Sorry - she doesn't have a core... yet.

Our instructor Rob was really great for a beginner like me, and thankfully noticed when I was struggling, taking pity on me with easier exercises. After all, the aim of this is to feel good. When we remove the punishment from keeping fit, and instead focus on what we love doing, the peaceful and relaxed state for shifting pounds is created. (I hope). 

Afterwards my body felt stretched, calm and actually very grounded. I broke only a tiny sweat but I think the old bum muscles will be hurting tomorrow...

Today my pleasurable eating consisted of a delicious chocolate croissant for breakfast, a Celebrity Skin salad from Pure, then salmon, potatoes and Chinese cabbage for dinner. I got a craving for something sweet so allowed my animal to really savour some chocolate too (and four squares was enough - very odd). 

Incorporating pleasure into your life isn't as easy as you think though. Jena talks a lot about the social conventions that surround the idea of pleasure, and how it seems frivolous and indulgent. I really do feel it. I actually feel guilty and bad for leaving work on time, or spending money on myself on something so... decadent as a workout. It's funny how my mind is obviously more comfortable playing the unhappy victim, or the shy one who doesn't put herself out there that much, rather than someone who experiences all life has to offer. 

I wonder if this is one of the reasons I've been holding onto my weight, because I'm actually afraid to be living a life like this. I think my old inner critic is a bit discombobulated that I'm not waiting until the scales hit this number or I wear that dress size, and it might just take a while for my confidence to catch up.

I hope so.